Three years. THREE YEARS!! On this day three years ago I knew my life would be so different and so great, and I was right. I was baptized a member of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! I was just turned 21 years old, the age everyone can't wait for, never in a million years would I have thought that would happen, but it did! It did because I was in search of something greater, something true, that I could rely on and something I could look to to better myself, all without even really knowing it until I found it.
I was so unhappy with the person I was becoming and tired of 'sitting still' in life. I was making drastic, life altering decisions more on impulse than really thinking them through only hoping that they would make me happy and fulfilled. I was making choices that weren't exactly helping get where I wanted to be, though, back then I wasn't really sure where that was.
I was involved with a wonderful family and someone close to me that was searching for the same things I was. It was no accident how I came to the church. They helped guide me and light the way. This friend was praying and praying for answers on where to go, what was right, what was true, when the good ol' missionaries showed up. (I believe saying that they were told they should come visit this friend by a home teacher). Well they started talking more and I didn't even know about it for a little while. Then one day when I was over at this family's home, my fate knocked on their door, wanting dinner. Ok actually I'm not sure they came for dinner but it was my fate. They were supposed to come that night, though I didn't know this, and my friend had called and canceled their meeting. One of the missionaries, being new, somehow missed the voicemail left on their phone and they showed up anyways. BAM. First lesson!
Now I'm not going to lie, you are probably thinking it was that first lesson that leaves the investigator wanting more but for me, I wanted to run and run fast. It was totally not what I was expecting, completely caught me off guard and I left that night feeling like I sounded so stupid, not knowing anything they were asking me and wasn't understanding anything they were talking to me about. It wasn't the missionarie's faults though! They were so kind and polite and you could tell they were just as nervous as I was, being new and all. But after that night I decided it wasn't for me but I'd support my friend in it if it meant so much to him. Originally we had decided that we would try his church and then try my church and see what fit us better. Needless to say we never did actually go to my church haha.
Anyways....
Another night comes, I don't remember, maybe a week or so later?...and they showed up and surprised me again at this family's home. I think I was probably sweating up a storm, shaking, couldn't pronounce my words correctly and just wanted to, again, run. Run really fast. BUT for some reason or another, I didn't. I didn't use one of the MANY excuses as to why I should leave that I concocted in my mind as I was sitting there in the living room with them. They broke down the basics, started with what I DID already know and THAT was the lesson that left me wanting more. I started meeting with them a couple-few times a week. I was always left so thirsty for more. I probably called them so many times that they knew it was me every time their phone would ring.
I was starting to feel like I had a purpose in life. I was smiling from ear to ear all the time and it wasn't forced. It was almost like I had this crazy force inside that was so strong and I was about to burst at the seams with happiness. I never remember feeling this way before.
*Not even when the ice cream man broke down on my street when I was a kid and they were giving away all their ice cream because it was going to all melt!*
Yeah.
When I started thinking about being baptized I decided to bring it up to my family. We were all at a restaurant and it was the perfect time, when we were all together. I remember bringing it up and then being drilled. Question after question about what I was getting myself into and did I actually really know what I was talking about. Well, surprise, surprise, I had an answer for everything. Some I actually looked back on later and thought, "Wait, how did I know that?" It was kind of unreal.
Long story short, I was baptized. I think I actually asked if I could be baptized before I was asked to be baptized.
I was given a journal by another member for my big day with a super sweet card encouraging me to write about my feelings and progression. So thankful I have that to look back on. I don't read it as often as I should but looking back on it today brings back all my happy feelings and gets my spiritual juices flowing, making me want to do it all over again!
I thought I'd share some little tid bits from my very first journal about my big day and some of my progression in my first yr. I mean, who explains it better than someone who JUST went through it all am I right?!
Another incident was when I went to see Disney on ice in San Diego. Everyone knows the SD temple looks like a princess castle. Well, it's right on the edge of the freeway and we were driving home late and I saw it all lite up for the first time. I told my mom it was Snow White's castle and that I was going to go there someday. HA. She probably just went along with my childish dream not knowing that one day, I really would be going there. Anyways..
-BAPTISM DAY-
Eeeep!!
"Leading up to this day I was so eager, so thirsty to learn all I could soak up. I wanted to meet with the missionaries everyday if I actually could have. I went to church regularly, read the scriptures I was given and more. I asked lots of questions and didn't keep it a secret of how excited I truly was. I knew everyone could tell and that made them excited for me which in turn made me that much more enthusiastic about it.......................I think for a moment I entered my own little world. Sitting there pondering about what was about to take place, the giant leap I was about to take, the realization that I was about to really be forgiven of everything I had ever done up until that moment, without a single doubt in my mind. .......I felt the spirit all around, helping me, watching me go to the steps. Brother Snapp reaching out to me, ready to go. We locked arms and I closed my eyes listening to what he was saying. I was lowered into the water and my mind was quiet, I felt it was just me in the room for a moment and I felt my past wash away. It never happened to who it matters most..."
For the record, I was the very last person to leave the building that night. After I said good bye to everyone I sat in my car and cried. Happy tears of course, and I listened to the only church music I had, Jeremy Camp. I did this for about 20 minutes or so <3 "It was the first time I was completely alone but didn't feel lonely."
-DAY AFTER-
"The day after my baptism. I feel so amazing. I'm on top of the world today. I feel as if all the things that would normally bring me down have 0 effect over me. At Starbucks I was working the drive-thru and a co-worker, _____, came by. She told me once before my baptism that she didn't understand why I wanted to do it. I tried explaining but got some doubtful looks. Today, however, she said to me, "Danica, you're glowing!" I told her with a huge smile, "I was baptized yesterday, I was told people would say that.""
-CONFIRMATION DAY-
I remember this day very well. When I was called to the front of the church to be confirmed a member and receive the Holy Ghost I practically skipped to the front I was so excited. When the confirmation began it was the first time in the whole process I got nervous. I started to shake. I wasn't sure it was me or if I was imagining it but I was later told it was in fact me haha. I got this cold shiver that ran through my whole body but it went so fast and was replaced by an incredible warmth. Like laying in the sun on the hottest day of the yr but feeling it from the inside. A feeling I will NEVER forget. After the blessing I tried to stand but literally couldn't feel the floor. I remember thinking to myself, "take a step, now another, turn around...", like I was learning how to walk all over again. Each step was as if nothing was under me. I got to my seat but was asked to stand again. I said, accidentally out loud, "If I can even hold myself up long enough to stand." I got some laughs from that one.
""I'll remember these days forever", I thought to myself and bowed my head to pray. I gave my gratitude to the Lord, my Savior, my missionaries, my family, the people in the ward and everyone who helped me get here today. I'am apart of this church now and forever and I feel the love <3"
Three years later and I still can't believe how far I've gotten and I know I owe it all to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, the missionaries and the supportive families. I have been married and sealed in the temple to my very best friend for time and ALL eternity, gained the most incredible, loving family, I have been blessed beyond words with a healthy, beautiful daughter, my mother and my aunt have felt and accepted the unconditional love our Heavenly Father has for each of us and were baptized and cleansed just over a year ago and my life has been changed for the better in so many ways, by so many people. I know that this was the right decision for me to make, along with all the decisions I had to make along the way to get to where I am today. I'm grateful for the love and support people have shown me and for the sacrifice Jesus Christ made for all of us so that we could know the truth, feel the love of our Lord, and return to live with Him again. I'm grateful for the examples shown to me by Him and by fellow members, friends and family members. I know that there is no better way to live than a clean, pure, righteous way and if we follow the teachings of our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, the commandments and we take care of ourselves and those around us, we will be blessed. And we have so many blessings awaiting us. Those who are seeking something better, or maybe are lost, or even those who have already found Christ, I urge you to read the Book Of Mormon and pray to know what is true. I promise you will receive your answer and answers to any other questions or struggles you may have if you ask with a real intent, but I know it will happen in the Lord's time and at the best time for you in your life, just as it did for me.
There is no greater love!!!
Doctrine and Covenants 78:17-19
"Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity our yours.
And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more."
